Sea of Love

Today was my first real lazy day in Madrid. I was exhausted after my trip over the weekend, which I will post about later on. I literally woke up after ten hours of sleep, and spent almost all day in my room besides going out to the kitchen to eat of course. Honestly, it felt nice to have a day where I was not worried about anything or getting lost somewhere in the city. I had time to do some necessary research and relax. I thought today would just be a normal day, but a friend of mine here was messaging me about how homesick she was. Then all of a sudden, I felt incredibly homesick. It did not help that I decided to read one of the 21 letters my best friend wrote to me. So, yes, I cried. I could not tell you if they were happy tears or sad tears. 

Tomorrow will mark my eighth week here in Madrid. I will admit I was incredibly homesick in the beginning. I was not really sure how to handle my emotions because I had never been homesick before. I was frustrated especially having to message everyone constantly only because I leave out details I normally would tell them in person. Maybe that is a good thing though as I know I am a horrible story teller and ramble about things that never pertain to the main point. Sometimes I will feel homesick when my parents message me that they are out to brunch at my dad's favorite restaurant or when my best friend is telling me about her weekend. I miss face to face conversations will everyone back at home. 

♫♪ Cat Power-Sea of Love ♫♪

Anyways, as my day in my room turned to night I decided to listen to one of my favorite songs ever, Sea of Love by Cat Power. Yes, it is the song they play at the end of the film, Juno, after she gives birth. I cry every time at that part. My sister actually showed me this song way before the film Juno and I instantly fell in love with it. Later on, my dad caught wind of this song and it instantly became his go to on our car rides together alone or as a family. I think of him every time I listen to the song. It had been a while since I had heard it so when I started listening to it today, I instantly started crying. The tears would not stop flowing until the song was over. I thought about my dad, my mom, sister, and brother in the car silently listening to the lyrics. I thought about when my sister introduced the song to me. Yes, I even thought about Juno giving her baby away. (Tears are starting to fill my eyes...typing is getting a little more difficult...) I realized while listening to that beautiful song that my tears are not because I am sad or happy in those moments, but rather it is because I feel incredibly loved. I have been blessed with amazing people who have shown me what love is and I can only hope I have shown them the same. I have never loved so deeply as I do now. Whether it is family love, friendship love or romantic love, it is something that has filled my heart and empowered me. I thank each and every person who has told me they love me and continue to love me because you are the ones who have changed my life and for that, I am forever grateful. Please take a listen to this song and feel the sea of love fill your hearts.

xoxo

I'm Feeling Youthful

Yesterday, I did not have any sort of agenda and just decided to explore the beautiful city of Madrid. I was in good company with my roommate and two girls she introduced me to the first weekend I arrived. We initially were in search of some Moroccan tea houses, but failed to find any, so we decided to head to Sol and walk around. I somehow navigated everyone in the right direction (I mean I had to ask two people, but hey, I still did it). Our walking around did not last long as we stumbled across an adorable little shop and I ended up with two pieces of clothing. I mean, I know I do not need more clothes, but I could not resist. The girls I was with did not help me as they convinced me to buy them. I returned the favor by convincing one of the girls to buy two pairs of shoes. I only did it because they were really cute and sometimes it is necessary to indulge and treat yourself. After, two of the girls were exhausted and decided to head home early. So, one of the girls (the one with two new pairs of shoes thanks to me) and I decided to walk around in search of a snack. I had a craving for some gelato and walked into the first place that I saw. We sat and while I enjoyed my chocolate gelato on a cone, we just talked. At one point, I looked at the TV screen playing music videos and there was this beautiful girl singing a song I have not heard yet. It is "Youthful" by Foxes, which I have linked below. Take a listen, it's good.

♫♪ Foxes-Youthful ♫♪

My friend and I continued to get to know each other. We talked about some serious things and some other not so serious things. She opened up to me and told me about her past and her hopes for her time here in Madrid. It was starting to get late and I had to make it home in time for dinner. We parted ways and on my way home via Metro, I thought a lot about the importance of sharing stories. Stories link us from person to person as they are a part of us we have trusted another person with. I have actually been thinking about this a lot because I have had some really great conversations recently. For example, with my home stay mom. I have mentioned her before and she is not so much a mother as a grandmother. She is probably around her 70s or 80s. She has four older children, all married with families of their own. She lives alone, with Nana of course, and has opened her home to students studying abroad since 1998. Initially, it made me sad to think about her alone at home while my roommate and I were at class or out for the weekend. She stays at home all day and only travels to the closest grocery stores due to her bad knee. All three of us have already set up a routine, as she spends most nights watching TV and days cleaning or organizing her home. Due to her limited hearing, she has special ear phones she uses to hear the TV better. Before I go to bed, I love seeing her sitting in her nightgown with her slippers and her giant earphones. Anyways, I no longer feel sad when I think of my home stay mom alone at home. The stories she has shared with me has changed my mind completely. She has seen a lot of the world, she has traveled to Italy, France, Switzerland, different parts of Spain, Mexico, New York City, New Orleans, and so many more places. Over the last fifteen years, she has made some really great memories with students and has little souvenirs around her home they have brought her and from her own travels. She even kept a note one of the students wrote her. She loves history and art museums, having visited all the museums in Madrid. When she tells me all these stories from her past, I keep thinking to myself, wow, she has lived a great life. She has taken advantage of her surroundings and traveled far and close. She has opened her home to strangers. I would have never known any of these things about her if I only was going off her life at home. Her stories have opened my heart and mind. 

I hope I can look back on my life and share stories like these with others. Even at the age of twenty, I have heard some some amazing stories from those younger and older than me. I feel blessed that others have trusted me with their past and their hopes for their future. Through each story, I am realizing how young I actually am. I mean, I did just enter my twenties a couple of months ago...I am feeling very youthful right now. The reason I am in Madrid is to travel and experience new things, so that is exactly what I am going to do. Inspired by Foxes song, I will end with this:

"Don't tell me our youth is running out, it's only just begun"

xoxo

21 weeks...or something like that

It has officially been more than a week since I arrived in Madrid. I think it went by fast, but at the same time it feels like I have been here for a while. I purposefully chose my study abroad program because it was a five month program while many others were only three months. Just yesterday, I filled out my calendar trying to calculate potential weekends I can go away to explore this beautiful continent while still keeping up with my school work (I feel like a dork admitting that) and I am overwhelmed that my time here in Madrid may pass by in a flash. I officially have seventeen and a half weeks until my program is over.

Okay so here's the thing, I have not exactly bought my plane ticket home. My hope is that I will be able to stay an additional week or two to do all the traveling that I did not get to do during the semester. *fingers crossed this happens* So when my loved ones asked, "oh, when are you coming back?" I did not have a straight answer and would tell them the latest June 1. Given the information I provided, that gives me about twenty-one weeks at the max until I come home. I am only now calculating the amount of weeks thoroughly to write this post and tell you about one of my best friends. She's the best friend I mentioned in my first blog post who I text everyday and has been my friend for eight years now. Oh man, we have seen each other grow up so much not just physically (braces and pimples and all) but also emotionally. She has really been there for me and I would say I am incredibly blessed to call her my best friend. Right before I left, she surprised me with a really special gift that will make my weeks here a little easier. She wrote little notes for each approximate week I would be gone. Yes, it is very romantic of her, but that's kind of how our relationship is.

When you have known someone for a long period of time, they know you in ways most people don't and maybe never will. Those best friends see another side of you that you have trusted them to see, they know your flaws and strengths, your secrets, and have accepted every aspect of your being. These best friends can be anyone, from a sister or brother, boyfriend or girlfriend, mom or father, college friend or elementary friend. My best friend has helped me grow into the person I am today and even though we're a part from each other a majority of the year (especially this year) I know she'll always be there for me. That is what is so special about best friends, you can always count on them in almost any situation. Hell, they may even know you better than you know yourself sometimes as that is definitely the case with my best friends. I just know, life would definitely not be the same without them and even though I am miles away, they feel like they're right here with me.

xoxo

Jet Set Blues.

Jet Set. I learned this clever, little term from my older sister, who by the way is the real jet set queen. I am currently running on three hours of sleep after dropping my sister off at the airport this morning... Normally this would not be a problem except I am headed to the airport in oh, about 12 hours from now for my own adventure. I will be experiencing a full 24 hours of travel time in the next two days, and I probably will not get any sleep tonight. 

The reason for my travels-studying abroad. I have been dreaming about studying abroad since I was a sophomore in high school after visiting my sister in France (again, real jet set queen). My desired location is Madrid, Spain. After spending my first two years in college trying to decide on a location, I finally picked Madrid and I could not be more excited. But I am experiencing a little of the jet set blues. I have not been able to properly express my feelings about these next five months I will be away from home because quite frankly, I love being home. I have had so much going on here that I put off thinking about leaving my loved ones here. 

First, there is my family. This is the longest I will ever be a part from them (my hometown is only 45 minutes away from my college town) but knowing how excited they are for me eases the pain. They're my best friends so I am not sure how I will be able to adapt to not seeing them often. As of now, I am also looking into the future when they come visit me, which also eases the pain. Second, my best friend from college. We're not only best friends, we have been roommates for two and a half years. That is a lot of time together that has created an incredibly strong friendship. This semester is the longest we'll be a part, but we're obsessed with updating each other about our lives so I know we'll be okay. Third, my best friends from home. I mean by now we are used to the long distance friendships, but the fact that communication may be limited and the time difference does stress me out a little. Then again, I text my best friend every single day, and I do not really plan to stop now. Lastly, I met a boy. We started dating, even though we knew I would be leaving for five months. We did not really have an agenda, we were just enjoying getting to know each other and spending as much time as possible together. It turned into a really good thing, so we decided to do long distance while I am away. Leaving everyone behind will be incredibly hard because I have not been this happy in a long time. I will not lie, after moving out of my apartment for the semester, I was a wreck. It also did not help that the music of choice was by the artist LIGHTS, who with her beautiful, soft vocals, made me cry my eyes out. Right now though, I am okay. I know when I am saying "see you soon" to my parents I will not be able to contain the tears, but I am still excited. In the end, I know I could not be more blessed to have people I will miss here at home. 

In typical Melissa fashion, I still have to pack everything up for the next five months in the next 12 hours and I instead decided to write my first blog post. Will I regret waiting this long to pack? Probably, most definitely, yes. However, on the other side will not only be a long plane ride, but the adventure of the next five months.

xoxo